Letting Go of My Fear to Finish My Book

Whenever anyone asks me how my book is coming, I try to explain that I am close to finishing my second rewrite. Mostly they look at me blankly or with a look that asks me “Aren’t you done by now?’ 

Well here’s the thing: this is one of the hardest accomplishments I have ever undertaken.  Even though I have been writing my entire life, I had not had a ton of training.  My college degree was in Human Development and Family Studies with a minor in Psychology.  There was very little writing except for essays in classes like Philosophy. 

Since then I have taken a class at Long Ridge Writers Group, one at Gotham, and another weekend writing retreat with Hay House.  Then in 2012 I hired a book coach. By the middle of 2013 I sent my manuscript off to a creative editor to give me some feedback. 

My last rewrite was a result of her comments and suggestions.  I am less than twenty pages from finishing .  To my chagrin, my creative mind has been taking vacation for about two weeks as I watched January fly by. 

So what is up with that? 

Fear.  Fear that after nearly two years, the book is not ready for publication.  Not only that, but is sucks and no one will read it. And yet, I keep on writing, pushing away the most destructive emotion I possess.  It is my desire that some day, some one tells me, “Oh My Gosh, that book helped me so much. What you described happened to me and made me realize that I am not alone in this world. ”

Now another fear I have, is writing something on the internet that I will later regret. Go figure. “It is permanent” my youngest son reminded me last night at dinner as he explained all the different ways to embarrass yourself on social media.  Never to be erased.  Delete it you say?  That doesn’t work.  It’s out there somewhere to be retrieved by brilliant computer minds.

Oh well, I have a feeling that 2014 is about letting go of your fears and moving forward no matter what challenges you might face.  Stare your fears in the eyes and growl.  Do something every day that scares you.  You’ll be much better off in long run.  Trust me on this one.