Discipline

Discipline. Most people have an idea of what that means.  Some see it as necessary, while others see it as work. Or a chore. Something that requires attention. 

A great deal of you will see it on the spectrum of negative practices. It is often inflicted to correct a behavior that is undesirable. Being sent to detention or an after-school program like in the iconic movie, The Breakfast Club, with the eighties Brat Pack. It is a must see. 

Anyway, imposing discipline is a practice that has been in place for thousands of years. 

Discipline was invented for those who did not follow rules, usually set by the church. Historically, if you were found to be a heretic, or a scientist who disagreed with current thinking, you were banished, tortured and usually put to death. Today it is less violent. We are way more into incarceration for compliance with laws. Jails, prisons, juvenile detention, military schools, halfway houses. These are just a few on the list that come to mind. 

If discipline is used to control behavior in both human beings and animals, why is it not working? 

The easy answer? It is complicated. And yet, there is much more to it than that. The concept is complex and worthy of discussion. It is not only about compliance and adhering to societal rules, but also about being part of a much larger picture. If we all flow together, we can grow together. 

It is also about being mindful of the environment. Mindful of self. Mindful of others. Rules are meant to keep us all safe. That is why in America we all drive on the right side of the road. If we drove however we wanted, it would be mayhem. 

Discipline was meant to keep us connected rather than divided. It was meant to bring us together. 

Taking to the other side of the spectrum, a deeper meaning of the word is applied to garnering knowledge. When it is applied in education, it is about obtaining a specialty or an advanced degree in a “discipline” such as mathematics, forestry, or social work. 

Totally different context, right?  Much more on the positive side of the definition. 

So, the real question? Where does the word discipline land with you?

Take your time. I had to think about it too. 

When you are ready to know what I think, read on. 

Personally, I adore the word. It is true love. There is no earthly word to describe it.

Growing up in the military, the child of an Army Officer, we were inherently raised to be polite, neat, well-spoken, and properly educated. It took a bit of pushing for me to buy into college, yet it all turned north when I found the study of human behavior in society was a college degree. College sparked my passion to learn. In exactly four years I graduated cum laude with a degree in Human Development and Family Studies with a minor in Psychology.

To continue my quest to discover, in my twenties I devoured the wisdom of successful authors and speakers. I sought geniuses of life: wizards of winning, leaders of the universe, and masters of money. Early in my career, I started with Brian Tracy, Dr. Wayne Dyer, and Denis Waitley. Waitley was a great teacher in visualization. He taught the power of the discipline of the mind. If you are interested, try reading Waitley who authored the Seeds of Greatness, and The Psychology of Winning. 

Becoming my best self is what drove me to keep studying masters. I devoured spiritual masters Ram Dass, Marianne Williamson, Sonia Choquette, as well as Deepak Chopra. Each one taught me something of value. They encouraged self-examination and discipline of the mind. Much of what they taught was to be aware. I learned that I wanted security. My entire life I had been driven to earn an unlimited amount of money. Cash in the bank meant security, freedom, and independence.  

Those are the three reasons why I embrace discipline.

To master money and finance early in my career, I read the Richest Man in Babylon and Think and Grow Rich. The first book essentially was about having discipline to pay yourself and save for your future first. The second book encouraged you to feel worthy of wealth and how to have the proper mind to attain it. The author was masterful. He asserted that one should suppress negative thoughts. The ideal path was to focus, to meditate, and to see my future self already having what I desired. 

Another huge impact on how I see discipline was due to my upbringing. Growing up in the military had its advantages. Being a colonel, our father taught us what he learned in the military. His discipline rubbed off on all of us. Our dad fought in the South Pacific during World War II as a Marine. He reenlisted in the Army and fought for our country in Korea and Viet Nam twice. His service to our country took its toll on all of us. 

Only five years old and in kindergarten, it was devastating the first time my dad left for Nam. I was hugely affected by the assignment. My home life changed drastically. With his absence and the burden placed upon my mother to keep a household afloat, she too felt the immense stress, losing her father during the first tour. We lived ten of us in a postage size home, four to a bedroom since we did not have base housing during his tour. No air conditioning, and one bathroom.

My memories of those days were not pleasant. I became an indignant child; mad at the General who took him away from us. The guy who moved our family from our home. Angry at my parents for choosing this life. Livid with the protestors who spit on my father and the other troops when they finally came home to their families after a year of tragedy. Not only killing others but also watching their friends and fellow soldiers die in the jungle. 

The child in me wanted to stomp my feet and shout at the long-haired hippies holding signs. I wanted to cry and remind the protestors what it meant to have the freedom to speak your mind. Many Americans are not taught in school that almost two-thirds of eighteen-year-olds were called to service their country. It was not voluntary. Assignments were dictated by a person’s birthday, the order drawn through the lottery in December of 1969. 

The war lasted over ten years. Viet Nam war went on from 1964 to 1975. The impact on society was immense. 

The second time my father left for Nam, we were moved from the most enchanting place I had ever lived. Hawaii. On the Island of Oahu, an Army base. A place where you could go barefoot to school. We had three amazing years in paradise. With the eldest three already in college, the rest of us packed up our stuff and said goodbye to our friends. We had to move to Burns Flat, Oklahoma, the smallest town I had ever experienced in my twelve years. The town boasted eighteen in the graduating class. 

It was remote and small, but it had its silver lining. There, in the mid-western town, I had the best teacher in my life, Mrs. Greteman. She introduced me to John Lennon and the song Imagine which still gives me chills to this day.  She told me I was brilliant and should work hard to stand out. She threw me my thirteenth birthday sleepover where all six of us got our ears pierced using a clothes pin, a cork, and a needle. 

With my friends being farmers, I got a distinct lesson in discipline. Running a farm is daunting work and long hours. At least it was back then. As a hobby, I learned to shear and show sheep for 4-H. We grew chickens, and I earned girl scout badges for entomology and sewing. We had sleepovers and kissed boys with our lips closed. In Oklahoma, my best friends were Vicki P and Cindy S.  It was only one year. Only 365 days. But those days were rich with experience. Those times had a huge impact on my life. 

Most of my memories of discipline are sweet like the tea they made in Oklahoma. When I think of getting something done now, I try to see it as a gift rather than a chore, a privilege instead of a requirement. What used to be something to complain about has now become a joy.  

So, folks look around and ask yourself one question.

 What is calling to you now? 

Is it the junk drawer? The gym? That old boyfriend from high school? 

Whatever it is, make a promise to yourself. Give it a try. Try to get one thing on your list done today. And another one tomorrow. Eventually it won’t feel so much like a chore anymore. It might feel like you are learning. Learning to be a better version of yourself.