Coming Full Circle With Parenting

It is difficult to admit that a few years back I was counting down the days until all of our children were off to college or onto other adventures away from our home.  The first calculation came in around 575 days  until we were officially an empty nest. 

Since then, our youngest son has circled back.  It is much different this time.  When the question of my parenting came into play roughly twenty months ago, the kids were all in transition and struggling with the journey.  Their poor decisions were raining down upon me, forcing me to examine my own choice to have children. 

It sounds harsh, even as I write this.  Yet, if I don’t admit it, I would surely be lying to you and trying to cover up what most parents are unwilling to say out loud. 

This is the hardest job I have ever undertaken. 

My tendenacy is to say it again to be sure you really heard me.  Because really, the word hard, does not even come close to revealing the true meaning of the statement.  Please know that I love my children, all four of them.  They are all growing up to be fine adults.  There were just a few rough patches along the way. 

Now their lives are becoming interesting.  It is fascinating to watch them engage in adult relationships.  Now their life paths are being swayed by the opposite sex.  Their choices involve someone else now and the struggle to consider others strains them from their comfort zones. 

My hope is that someday they all get to the place of self-understanding.  So much so that when they each make the decision to have their own children, that it is one of complete understanding.  No surprises, no guilt, no fear.  After all, it has really been worth it in the end. My life is so much richer with them.

Thanks be to heaven for allowing me to be their mother.